By Tommy Bendis
Who doesn't like a drink now and then? By "now and then", I mean at least twice-a-week. Fridays, of course, were made for getting drunk and hanging out with friends. You get off work, you take a nap, and then you go out and make some good stories happen. I also like a good Wednesday night drunk. Nothing too crazy, because you need to avoid the dreaded mid-week hangover. I always go to my neighborhood watering hole and I am quite well known there as a man who likes to have fun. I also am quite well known for always wearing different funny t-shirts. I have lots, but the night of this story in particular found me wearing one that ridiculed the rapper Kanye West.
Being that Wednesday is one of the better nights to get soused with my comrades, we all met up at Paul's Place at around 7pm and I was proudly sporting one of my new funny t-shirts. My two friends and I ate some chicken wings, and starting pouring beer on top of them in our bellies. I love my bar and we were having a fantastic time, and there were even some girls there that have never been there before. We bought them drinks, we made them laugh, and turned the charm up to 10 while we played some shuffleboard. All in all, the night started off pretty great.
My funny t-shirts were always a hit, but this one was getting lots of attention. Maybe because it was so soon after the whole Taylor Swift incident, or maybe people are just sick and tired of Kanye West. Who knows, really. All I know is that I was getting super-drunk and I had passed the point of caring about what funny t-shirts I was wearing or about the massive hangover I was sure to have tomorrow. Beer turned into whiskey and that, in turn, became boilermakers. Do you know how stupid a boilermaker can make you? If you don't know, then good for you. You're winning.
I admit that much of the night was a blur of lost memory at that point. One of my friends tapped out and went home, but my other buddy is between jobs and an awful influence, so he convinced me to say. I'm sure I said something repulsive to the girls we were with, because I certainly didn't wake up next to any of them. When the bar closed, my friend and I both knew we needed some food...badly. We jumped in a cab, headed to the local diner, and walked right in. I had no longer made my way to a stool at the counter when I heard a very deep voice behind me say, "That shirt supposed to be a joke, man?" It took me a minute to realize they were talking about my funny t-shirts.
Sometimes when you get drunk, you get extremely self-centered. The world revolves around you and nothing has th
My funny t-shirts were always a hit, but this one was getting lots of attention. Maybe because it was so soon after the whole Taylor Swift incident, or maybe people are just sick and tired of Kanye West. Who knows, really. All I know is that I was getting super-drunk and I had passed the point of caring about what funny t-shirts I was wearing or about the massive hangover I was sure to have tomorrow. Beer turned into whiskey and that, in turn, became boilermakers. Do you know how stupid a boilermaker can make you? If you don't know, then good for you. You're winning.
I admit that much of the night was a blur of lost memory at that point. One of my friends tapped out and went home, but my other buddy is between jobs and an awful influence, so he convinced me to say. I'm sure I said something repulsive to the girls we were with, because I certainly didn't wake up next to any of them. When the bar closed, my friend and I both knew we needed some food...badly. We jumped in a cab, headed to the local diner, and walked right in. I had no longer made my way to a stool at the counter when I heard a very deep voice behind me say, "That shirt supposed to be a joke, man?" It took me a minute to realize they were talking about my funny t-shirts.
Sometimes when you get drunk, you get extremely self-centered. The world revolves around you and nothing has th
I admit that much of the night was a blur of lost memory at that point. One of my friends tapped out and went home, but my other buddy is between jobs and an awful influence, so he convinced me to say. I'm sure I said something repulsive to the girls we were with, because I certainly didn't wake up next to any of them. When the bar closed, my friend and I both knew we needed some food...badly. We jumped in a cab, headed to the local diner, and walked right in. I had no longer made my way to a stool at the counter when I heard a very deep voice behind me say, "That shirt supposed to be a joke, man?" It took me a minute to realize they were talking about my funny t-shirts.
Sometimes when you get drunk, you get extremely self-centered. The world revolves around you and nothing has the right to say anything snaky, critical, or even sometimes complimentary. I knew that this guy was being a sarcastic jerk, so I turned about to give him a piece of my mind. That was about as far as I got, because the voice belonged to one-half of the two biggest black dudes in all of New York. After speaking to them for a bit after realizing I wasn't about to die, I realized that they were security for Jay-Z and that they LOVED my awesome pick of funny t-shirts...which happened to be about Kanye West, if you'll remember.
Luckily, neither one of them liked him very much. The whole situation could have gone much different. They both laughed at me until tears were in their eyes when I asked them never to tell Kanye about it in all of the seriousness a drunk man can summon. I learned that night to choose my funny t-shirts a bit more carefully. You never know if you're going to run into Kanye Westor giant security guys who know him.
About the Author:
Sometimes when you get drunk, you get extremely self-centered. The world revolves around you and nothing has the right to say anything snaky, critical, or even sometimes complimentary. I knew that this guy was being a sarcastic jerk, so I turned about to give him a piece of my mind. That was about as far as I got, because the voice belonged to one-half of the two biggest black dudes in all of New York. After speaking to them for a bit after realizing I wasn't about to die, I realized that they were security for Jay-Z and that they LOVED my awesome pick of funny t-shirts...which happened to be about Kanye West, if you'll remember.
Luckily, neither one of them liked him very much. The whole situation could have gone much different. They both laughed at me until tears were in their eyes when I asked them never to tell Kanye about it in all of the seriousness a drunk man can summon. I learned that night to choose my funny t-shirts a bit more carefully. You never know if you're going to run into Kanye Westor giant security guys who know him.
About the Author:
For more information about funny t-shirts check out my pick for the best funny t-shirt on the web.