By Peter Mills
Ah, those glorious college years. You remember them vividly and with a hollow place inside your chest that should be filled with thoughts of scantily-clad drunk girls and irresponsible drinking. You have three things to show for your time spent in school: a college education, a beer gut, and a closet full of funny t-shirts. You may want to go out and use some of that college money to get some new, grown-up clothes. You can't keep wearing those funny t-shirts everywhere, my friend. There are, in fact, some places where funny t-shirts are a definite bad idea.
So what's the first order of business now that you've completed your higher education? Well, a higher education job is the whole reason you went to school, right? Okay, you may have actually gone to school for the girls and the parties, but you can't very well put that on your resume. You need a job, and that means you need to go to job interviews. You need to learn how to be comfortable in something other than pajama bottoms and funny t-shirts. The only job you'll get if you wear funny t-shirts to job interviews is a job sleeping in an alley and begging for change.
If you happen to be a religious person, then you know all about the pageantry of Sunday church. People pull out their best clothes and do their best to impress everyone except for God. If you want to go to church, though, you have to play the part. That means you can't walk in wearing any of your funny t-shirts, because church is the last place in the world where people expect to be happy. I think I've just depressed myself and reestablished my hatred of mankind.
By the good graces of the God you just made fervent apologies to, you've managed to get a job. That's the good news. The bad news is that you're still lonely and living alone in a strange city with no friends. A girlfriend would do great things for your confidence and mood, so you decide to dive in deep into the local night life. If you're planning on going to clubs and bars, your funny t-shirts may make you a few new friends in the dude department...but the ladies are surely going to steer clear. It's not like it was in college, buddy. It takes more than a 12 pack of beer to get a girl. It takes professionalism and you have to at least look like you're worth breeding with.
I'm
If you happen to be a religious person, then you know all about the pageantry of Sunday church. People pull out their best clothes and do their best to impress everyone except for God. If you want to go to church, though, you have to play the part. That means you can't walk in wearing any of your funny t-shirts, because church is the last place in the world where people expect to be happy. I think I've just depressed myself and reestablished my hatred of mankind.
By the good graces of the God you just made fervent apologies to, you've managed to get a job. That's the good news. The bad news is that you're still lonely and living alone in a strange city with no friends. A girlfriend would do great things for your confidence and mood, so you decide to dive in deep into the local night life. If you're planning on going to clubs and bars, your funny t-shirts may make you a few new friends in the dude department...but the ladies are surely going to steer clear. It's not like it was in college, buddy. It takes more than a 12 pack of beer to get a girl. It takes professionalism and you have to at least look like you're worth breeding with.
I'm
By the good graces of the God you just made fervent apologies to, you've managed to get a job. That's the good news. The bad news is that you're still lonely and living alone in a strange city with no friends. A girlfriend would do great things for your confidence and mood, so you decide to dive in deep into the local night life. If you're planning on going to clubs and bars, your funny t-shirts may make you a few new friends in the dude department...but the ladies are surely going to steer clear. It's not like it was in college, buddy. It takes more than a 12 pack of beer to get a girl. It takes professionalism and you have to at least look like you're worth breeding with.
I'm not sure if you've been paying attention, but I just told you that you wouldn't get a job, find religion, or get a girlfriend if you don't stop wearing funny t-shirts everywhere you go. If that isn't motivation to go out and buy some clothes that don't have curse words, references to beer, or semi-nude women on them...well, I don't know what is. You could always just sit on your couch, play video games, and hope your parents will let you move back in. Funny t-shirts may be hard to give up, but some people just never learn how to live in a post-graduate world.
About the Author:
I'm not sure if you've been paying attention, but I just told you that you wouldn't get a job, find religion, or get a girlfriend if you don't stop wearing funny t-shirts everywhere you go. If that isn't motivation to go out and buy some clothes that don't have curse words, references to beer, or semi-nude women on them...well, I don't know what is. You could always just sit on your couch, play video games, and hope your parents will let you move back in. Funny t-shirts may be hard to give up, but some people just never learn how to live in a post-graduate world.
About the Author:
For more information about funny t-shirts check out my pick for the best funny t-shirt on the web.