By Juliette Cruz
Jokes are often a popular pastime with those who like spending time together. Alcohol jokes are especially fun when with friends at a bar having a drink or two. A story about drank moments and experiences are bound to crack a rib now and then.
For instance, one often told joke is of a man who calls it a night after having one too many. Since he cannot drive home, he takes a bus instead. He wobbles through the bus to the back after tripping over a couple of times. An elderly woman in the bus seems to be stunned by this behavior; she stands up with her bible held closely to her chest and calls to the drunken guy telling him that he is going to hell. The man surprised by the woman words hurriedly stands up and attempts to leave as he laments how is on the wrong bus.
For instance, one often told joke is of a man who calls it a night after having one too many. Since he cannot drive home, he takes a bus instead. He wobbles through the bus to the back after tripping over a couple of times. An elderly woman in the bus seems to be stunned by this behavior; she stands up with her bible held closely to her chest and calls to the drunken guy telling him that he is going to hell. The man surprised by the woman words hurriedly stands up and attempts to leave as he laments how is on the wrong bus.
Another popular liquor joke goes as follows. After a night of drinks and fun with their friends, at a bar, a couple returns home. They get off their car and head for their front door eagerly waiting to flee the cold night. The husband reaches for his keys to unlock the door. After trying to turn the key for the longest time then, the wife tells the husband to hurry. She grows impatient and decides to blast at the husband sighting that he was so dumb that he was using the car keys to open the door. The husband starts to laugh and says how he was planning to turn on the house.
Alcohol will most of the times be considered a harmful drink. When a wise people come forth to stop you from drinking, tell them water has killed more people than alcohol has. To strengthen your argument point the wise men back to the story of the flood during the time of Noah.
Some jokes about alcohol are Irish as well, probably because of their love for beer. For instance, an old mean lady once gave an Irish plumber a job to fix her leaking sink. After successfully completing the job the plumber demanded payment. The lady looked for any cash around the house but failed to locate any so he asked him what other means of payment he wanted. The Irishman said he would take anything valuable.
The old lady came up to the man with a basket of potatoes after scouting around for some time and said that the potatoes were the only valuable thing she had. The Irishman was not impressed with the offer and he murmured his complaint shyly. The old lady misunderstood the lamentations of the Irishman to be an Irishman potato dilemma of whether to eat the potatoes or let them ferment so that he could drink it up. In the long run, the man took with him the potatoes.
A man had
Alcohol will most of the times be considered a harmful drink. When a wise people come forth to stop you from drinking, tell them water has killed more people than alcohol has. To strengthen your argument point the wise men back to the story of the flood during the time of Noah.
Some jokes about alcohol are Irish as well, probably because of their love for beer. For instance, an old mean lady once gave an Irish plumber a job to fix her leaking sink. After successfully completing the job the plumber demanded payment. The lady looked for any cash around the house but failed to locate any so he asked him what other means of payment he wanted. The Irishman said he would take anything valuable.
The old lady came up to the man with a basket of potatoes after scouting around for some time and said that the potatoes were the only valuable thing she had. The Irishman was not impressed with the offer and he murmured his complaint shyly. The old lady misunderstood the lamentations of the Irishman to be an Irishman potato dilemma of whether to eat the potatoes or let them ferment so that he could drink it up. In the long run, the man took with him the potatoes.
A man had
Some jokes about alcohol are Irish as well, probably because of their love for beer. For instance, an old mean lady once gave an Irish plumber a job to fix her leaking sink. After successfully completing the job the plumber demanded payment. The lady looked for any cash around the house but failed to locate any so he asked him what other means of payment he wanted. The Irishman said he would take anything valuable.
The old lady came up to the man with a basket of potatoes after scouting around for some time and said that the potatoes were the only valuable thing she had. The Irishman was not impressed with the offer and he murmured his complaint shyly. The old lady misunderstood the lamentations of the Irishman to be an Irishman potato dilemma of whether to eat the potatoes or let them ferment so that he could drink it up. In the long run, the man took with him the potatoes.
A man had accompanied his family to church where Reverend Mark was delivering the sermon. The man had the habit of drinking too much after which he headed home, took his rifle and started shooting at people and objects. The Reverend on the other hand was fond of pointing at people at sermons and rebuking them for their wrong doings.
To finish off these few selected alcohol jokes, the reverend who was aware of the disturbing shooting habits of the man, approached him and pointed out how nothing good ever comes out of his drinking and how much the Lord wants him to stop. The man defended himself by saying that while shooting the only reason he misses his target is because he is normally drunk therefore his habit was not that bad after all.
The old lady came up to the man with a basket of potatoes after scouting around for some time and said that the potatoes were the only valuable thing she had. The Irishman was not impressed with the offer and he murmured his complaint shyly. The old lady misunderstood the lamentations of the Irishman to be an Irishman potato dilemma of whether to eat the potatoes or let them ferment so that he could drink it up. In the long run, the man took with him the potatoes.
A man had accompanied his family to church where Reverend Mark was delivering the sermon. The man had the habit of drinking too much after which he headed home, took his rifle and started shooting at people and objects. The Reverend on the other hand was fond of pointing at people at sermons and rebuking them for their wrong doings.
To finish off these few selected alcohol jokes, the reverend who was aware of the disturbing shooting habits of the man, approached him and pointed out how nothing good ever comes out of his drinking and how much the Lord wants him to stop. The man defended himself by saying that while shooting the only reason he misses his target is because he is normally drunk therefore his habit was not that bad after all.