By Quincy Ladd
I get asked, "Are you okay?" by quite a few people everyday. It may be due to the crazy t-shirts I wear, or it could be due to the fact that I am constantly on the hunt for delicious unicorn brains. I eat people brains too, but unicorn brains are second only to Cyclops eye in terms of a delicate finish on the palate. Simply delicious fare for a discriminating psychopath.
I don't like eating people brains. I LOVE eating people brains. When I'm feeling a bit slow or dull during the day, there's nothing better than dragging a screaming guy into an alley and grabbing a quick brain-snack. I have a pretty decent method of harvesting too. PeTA would be proud of how humane I am.
I don't like eating people brains. I LOVE eating people brains. When I'm feeling a bit slow or dull during the day, there's nothing better than dragging a screaming guy into an alley and grabbing a quick brain-snack. I have a pretty decent method of harvesting too. PeTA would be proud of how humane I am.
Brains are pretty wonderful when you have a nasty hangover. After a long night of stumbling around in a drunken fugue and trying to get the jump on a unicorn, or three, I feel pretty worn out the next day. We've all been there, right? Your mind is all foggy and it's hard to think straight. The rigor mortis is especially bad and you can't get your legs to bend right. A fresh brain will take care of all of those problems.
What's with all the werewolves chilling out with the unicorns? There was a time in the not-too-distant past when I could score one, maybe two, unicorn brains in a single night. I could usually grab a princess brain too, but not any more. Now the stupid unicorns hang out with werewolves all night. I can't mess with werewolves. I'm allergic to them.
Making yourself crazy is simple. It doesn't take much more than making 2+2=1,453 in your head once or twice and all of those doors in your mind open at once and let the bat monsters out. Wearing a crazy t-shirt every day for a month helps too. It's very liberating to be crazy like me. You can just kick back, eat a few unicorn brains, drink your cough syrup, and think about how great the color triangle is.
What's with all the werewolves chilling out with the unicorns? There was a time in the not-too-distant past when I could score one, maybe two, unicorn brains in a single night. I could usually grab a princess brain too, but not any more. Now the stupid unicorns hang out with werewolves all night. I can't mess with werewolves. I'm allergic to them.
Making yourself crazy is simple. It doesn't take much more than making 2+2=1,453 in your head once or twice and all of those doors in your mind open at once and let the bat monsters out. Wearing a crazy t-shirt every day for a month helps too. It's very liberating to be crazy like me. You can just kick back, eat a few unicorn brains, drink your cough syrup, and think about how great the color triangle is.
About the Author:
Making yourself crazy is simple. It doesn't take much more than making 2+2=1,453 in your head once or twice and all of those doors in your mind open at once and let the bat monsters out. Wearing a crazy t-shirt every day for a month helps too. It's very liberating to be crazy like me. You can just kick back, eat a few unicorn brains, drink your cough syrup, and think about how great the color triangle is.
About the Author:
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