I had asked myself in front of the mirror one, "am I depressed?" And then I had to laugh, because looking back at me was a face that I hardly recognized; 20 lbs overweight with the skin sagging beneath my eyes. I would feel exhausted everyday I wake up, and I would jump at any chance to take a nap. I hadn't gotten a haircut in months - maybe a year - and I hadn't bothered ironing anything in nearly that long. Of course I was depressed, why did I even have to ask?
I did not try to find help immediately when I felt that I had depression. Who would? If you know what it's like to have depression, you will know what I am talking about. You keep thinking that it will all blow over. That tomorrow will the day that everything is back to normal, and you will wake up, get off the couch, and do something productive.
By the time I figured it out, it was too late as I was already up to my neck in negative thoughts and depressed moods. You want morbid? My face should be the picture by that word in the dictionary!
I did not try to find help immediately when I felt that I had depression. Who would? If you know what it's like to have depression, you will know what I am talking about. You keep thinking that it will all blow over. That tomorrow will the day that everything is back to normal, and you will wake up, get off the couch, and do something productive.
By the time I figured it out, it was too late as I was already up to my neck in negative thoughts and depressed moods. You want morbid? My face should be the picture by that word in the dictionary!
What to do, I did not know at all. There was a problem all right, but what do I start looking at? What is the process I need to go through in order to get out of the giant hole I planted myself in? Starting was difficult, but I did it, and my first step was joining the gym nearby my place. The monthly gym fee increased my motivation to get out of the house to utilize the gym because I dislike wasting money, and once I made the commitment, I decided to not back out. It took three weeks for me to go to the gym for three times in a week, and I started to feel my blood moving a bit quicker, like I was actually interested in something instead of letting the days pass by without me.
My plan worked. I built that momentum to actually start moving, and everything else began to fall into place for me. It was much easier for me to keep the motivation by surrounding myself with positive people as opposed to negative people. It may not be a very nice thing to do to the people who were your friends, but the negative attitude will only stop the momentum. Why should I make things harder on myself than they already were? It seemed to help too, soon I wasn't just pretending to be upbeat, my energy was actually improving and I felt good about getting to work and getting out of the house.
And let me tell you, getting out of the house was a doozey. I really didn't want to go. I would have preferred staying home and playing on my computer, hiding behind any number of busy tasks I had set for myself, none of which would actually bring me in contact with people. But I forced myself to do it, to get out there and socialize, to interact with people even though I didn't want to and would much rather have just holed up somewhere.
I also started taking interest on things that I have always wanted to do instead of sitting down and brooding over life. I registered for
My plan worked. I built that momentum to actually start moving, and everything else began to fall into place for me. It was much easier for me to keep the motivation by surrounding myself with positive people as opposed to negative people. It may not be a very nice thing to do to the people who were your friends, but the negative attitude will only stop the momentum. Why should I make things harder on myself than they already were? It seemed to help too, soon I wasn't just pretending to be upbeat, my energy was actually improving and I felt good about getting to work and getting out of the house.
And let me tell you, getting out of the house was a doozey. I really didn't want to go. I would have preferred staying home and playing on my computer, hiding behind any number of busy tasks I had set for myself, none of which would actually bring me in contact with people. But I forced myself to do it, to get out there and socialize, to interact with people even though I didn't want to and would much rather have just holed up somewhere.
I also started taking interest on things that I have always wanted to do instead of sitting down and brooding over life. I registered for
My plan worked. I built that momentum to actually start moving, and everything else began to fall into place for me. It was much easier for me to keep the motivation by surrounding myself with positive people as opposed to negative people. It may not be a very nice thing to do to the people who were your friends, but the negative attitude will only stop the momentum. Why should I make things harder on myself than they already were? It seemed to help too, soon I wasn't just pretending to be upbeat, my energy was actually improving and I felt good about getting to work and getting out of the house.
And let me tell you, getting out of the house was a doozey. I really didn't want to go. I would have preferred staying home and playing on my computer, hiding behind any number of busy tasks I had set for myself, none of which would actually bring me in contact with people. But I forced myself to do it, to get out there and socialize, to interact with people even though I didn't want to and would much rather have just holed up somewhere.
I also started taking interest on things that I have always wanted to do instead of sitting down and brooding over life. I registered for a yoga class, and I also picked up some gardening books so that I can have a herb garden. I concentrated on all of the things that I enjoyed doing, and I did not put any focus on my depression.
No, I'll be one of the first to admit that depression is no picnic. Being depressed felt very lonely and alienating, like you were only worth two cents or even less. But the thing is, you know yourself better than anyone else possibly could, which means that you will be able to tell which things work in helping to relieve the negativity and lift the shroud of pain. I looked in the mirror yesterday and asked myself the question again, "am I depressed?" and I was finally able to tell myself, no!
And let me tell you, getting out of the house was a doozey. I really didn't want to go. I would have preferred staying home and playing on my computer, hiding behind any number of busy tasks I had set for myself, none of which would actually bring me in contact with people. But I forced myself to do it, to get out there and socialize, to interact with people even though I didn't want to and would much rather have just holed up somewhere.
I also started taking interest on things that I have always wanted to do instead of sitting down and brooding over life. I registered for a yoga class, and I also picked up some gardening books so that I can have a herb garden. I concentrated on all of the things that I enjoyed doing, and I did not put any focus on my depression.
No, I'll be one of the first to admit that depression is no picnic. Being depressed felt very lonely and alienating, like you were only worth two cents or even less. But the thing is, you know yourself better than anyone else possibly could, which means that you will be able to tell which things work in helping to relieve the negativity and lift the shroud of pain. I looked in the mirror yesterday and asked myself the question again, "am I depressed?" and I was finally able to tell myself, no!