I'm not here to tell you that I'm some sort of a slacker when it comes to landscaping. I love being outside as much as the next guy but I have some rules when it comes to landscaping. I'm a guy so there's some logic behind my thinking or at least that's what I tell myself.
I've been single for the past few years. The wife left and move in with her mother, leaving me with this three bedroom, two bathroom house on two very green acres. This means that landscaping is at my leisure and only for my enjoyment. I have flower beds full of leaves and it works for me this way. I call it natural mulch!
Yes, my neighbors aren't too keen on my view of landscaping and tensions are to the point where we don't speak any longer. I understand them perfectly though. They're professional landscapers. This is their life. They have tried to convert me, teach me and recruit me but I think they've given up at this point and they have labeled me as a nonconformist, a rebel and a few other choice names but it's ok. You'll understand soon enough and so will they.
Yes, I'm the guy in your neighborhood that is driving down your property values and you don't want your kids trick or treating there or selling cookies or anything for any sort of school fundraiser. You'll rarely see me outside during the summer and I don't rake my leaves and here are the reasons why.
I've been single for the past few years. The wife left and move in with her mother, leaving me with this three bedroom, two bathroom house on two very green acres. This means that landscaping is at my leisure and only for my enjoyment. I have flower beds full of leaves and it works for me this way. I call it natural mulch!
Yes, my neighbors aren't too keen on my view of landscaping and tensions are to the point where we don't speak any longer. I understand them perfectly though. They're professional landscapers. This is their life. They have tried to convert me, teach me and recruit me but I think they've given up at this point and they have labeled me as a nonconformist, a rebel and a few other choice names but it's ok. You'll understand soon enough and so will they.
Yes, I'm the guy in your neighborhood that is driving down your property values and you don't want your kids trick or treating there or selling cookies or anything for any sort of school fundraiser. You'll rarely see me outside during the summer and I don't rake my leaves and here are the reasons why.
We live in North Carolina and you have probably noticed that the majority of the time it's about a hundred degrees outside. I've experienced heat stroke and I don't care to ever have that sort of fun again. I lost my lunch in an unpleasant way and my wife found me on the couch with a headache that just wouldn't quit. She told me never to mow the grass down here in the middle of the day when it's hot outside. Well, it's always hot outside! So, I mow the grass as infrequently as possible. It doesn't bother me and I presently don't have a wife for it to bother either.
While most of the humans that live near me aren't too fond of me during the summer time, the bunnies and various other forms of wildlife love me. They have cover and the whole food chain is exhibited in my front yard. Rabbit and squirrels forage for food while the hawk picks out his brunch from the Bartlett Pear tree that stands dead center in the yard. The deer have cover and sleep in the back yard and when all wildlife has vanished from this neighborhood, I'm sure you'll still find some hold outs in my yard thanks to my form of manly landscaping.
I know that there will come a day when all of this natural landscaping, as I like to call it, comes to an end. No, I'm not talking about when the local zoning officer tells me to cut my grass or they're going to fine me. That happens all the time. I mean that there will come a day when I'll have flowers in the yard and the trees will be pruned back. This change will probably come in the form of a five foot, two inch woman whose name I'll omit from this writing. We'll marry someday and she'll want to help me out and make this house a home again. She'll want to buy curtains and little rugs for the bathroom and she'll want flowers in the yard and she'll ask me kindly to cut the grass. This is what women do and it's worth it to this guy. She'll want every woman who drives by to know that a single guy doesn't live here anymore and it will be her way of marking her domain. So, you see. There's no sense in me going to any extremes to landscape the property because she's going to want to change it anyhow.
For the time being, though, I'll stick to my manly style of landscaping that is all about high grass and bunnies living in the yard. I'll burn my brush in the fall when it's ok to do so and when my darling wife does appear she will feel like she is saving me from this bland and undecorated life. I'll thank her for all of her wonderful ideas and I'll accompany her to the home center to pick out flowers or sit quietly as she discusses things with a landscape designer. Yes, the neighbors will probably have a party in her honor b
While most of the humans that live near me aren't too fond of me during the summer time, the bunnies and various other forms of wildlife love me. They have cover and the whole food chain is exhibited in my front yard. Rabbit and squirrels forage for food while the hawk picks out his brunch from the Bartlett Pear tree that stands dead center in the yard. The deer have cover and sleep in the back yard and when all wildlife has vanished from this neighborhood, I'm sure you'll still find some hold outs in my yard thanks to my form of manly landscaping.
I know that there will come a day when all of this natural landscaping, as I like to call it, comes to an end. No, I'm not talking about when the local zoning officer tells me to cut my grass or they're going to fine me. That happens all the time. I mean that there will come a day when I'll have flowers in the yard and the trees will be pruned back. This change will probably come in the form of a five foot, two inch woman whose name I'll omit from this writing. We'll marry someday and she'll want to help me out and make this house a home again. She'll want to buy curtains and little rugs for the bathroom and she'll want flowers in the yard and she'll ask me kindly to cut the grass. This is what women do and it's worth it to this guy. She'll want every woman who drives by to know that a single guy doesn't live here anymore and it will be her way of marking her domain. So, you see. There's no sense in me going to any extremes to landscape the property because she's going to want to change it anyhow.
For the time being, though, I'll stick to my manly style of landscaping that is all about high grass and bunnies living in the yard. I'll burn my brush in the fall when it's ok to do so and when my darling wife does appear she will feel like she is saving me from this bland and undecorated life. I'll thank her for all of her wonderful ideas and I'll accompany her to the home center to pick out flowers or sit quietly as she discusses things with a landscape designer. Yes, the neighbors will probably have a party in her honor b
I know that there will come a day when all of this natural landscaping, as I like to call it, comes to an end. No, I'm not talking about when the local zoning officer tells me to cut my grass or they're going to fine me. That happens all the time. I mean that there will come a day when I'll have flowers in the yard and the trees will be pruned back. This change will probably come in the form of a five foot, two inch woman whose name I'll omit from this writing. We'll marry someday and she'll want to help me out and make this house a home again. She'll want to buy curtains and little rugs for the bathroom and she'll want flowers in the yard and she'll ask me kindly to cut the grass. This is what women do and it's worth it to this guy. She'll want every woman who drives by to know that a single guy doesn't live here anymore and it will be her way of marking her domain. So, you see. There's no sense in me going to any extremes to landscape the property because she's going to want to change it anyhow.
For the time being, though, I'll stick to my manly style of landscaping that is all about high grass and bunnies living in the yard. I'll burn my brush in the fall when it's ok to do so and when my darling wife does appear she will feel like she is saving me from this bland and undecorated life. I'll thank her for all of her wonderful ideas and I'll accompany her to the home center to pick out flowers or sit quietly as she discusses things with a landscape designer. Yes, the neighbors will probably have a party in her honor but for the moment it's just me, the dog, some bunnies in the yard, the hawk that eats the bunnies and a few gentle deer that enjoy my style of landscaping.
About the Author:
Go to my blog to learn more about landscaping, honestly. Learn how the pros get it done.