By Juliette Cruz
During social gatherings, it is a custom to tell jokes. Alcohol jokes are often told during times spent together with friends while drinking. It is impossible to sit with a straight face through a story about some of the crazy things people say or do while under the influence.
For instance, one often told joke is of a man who calls it a night after having one too many. Since he cannot drive home, he takes a bus instead. He wobbles through the bus to the back after tripping over a couple of times. An elderly woman in the bus seems to be stunned by this behavior; she stands up with her bible held closely to her chest and calls to the drunken guy telling him that he is going to hell. The man surprised by the woman words hurriedly stands up and attempts to leave as he laments how is on the wrong bus.
Another joke involves a couple who return home after having fun with their friends at a bar. The husband pulls out the keys to open the front door as the wife who is rather irritated by the cold waits nearby. The husband struggles with the door for some time but it does not open, the wife who has become impatient opts to open the door herself, she snatched the key and notices that they are the car keys. The husband sheepishly laughs off the incident commenting on how he almost started their house.
When wise people approach you to alert you of the dangers of alcohol and how it has led to destruction of thousands of families, look them straight in the eye and tell them that water has killed more people by far. Cement your argument by pointing back at the flood when Noah built the ark.
Some jokes about alcohol are Irish as well, probably because of their love for beer. For instance, an old mean lady once gave an Irish plumber a job to fix her leaking sink. After successfully completing the job the plumber demanded payment. The lady looked for any cash around the house but failed to locate any so he asked him what other means of payment he wanted. The Irishman said he would take anything valuable.
The old lady looked around and saw a bag of potatoes that were lying around, she picked them up and handed them over to the man. The man put the basket down and murmured slowly how the potatoes were not compensation enough for his work. The lady insisted that the potatoes were the only costly thing she had, she joked on how the man could be faced with the predicament of cooking or leaving the potatoes to ferment so that he could drink. The man ended up taking the potatoes.
A man who was used to getting drunk on Saturday nights then shooting at people accompanied his family to the church one following Sunday. Delivering the sermon was reverend Mark who was known for condemning people for their wrong doings.
To conclude these few alcohol jokes, the reverend looked at the man and approached him while saying to him that nothing good would ever come of his behavior and that he should try to stop. The joke goes on to say that the man stood confidently and replied that at least the alcohol made him miss who he targeted which to him was a good thing.
For instance, one often told joke is of a man who calls it a night after having one too many. Since he cannot drive home, he takes a bus instead. He wobbles through the bus to the back after tripping over a couple of times. An elderly woman in the bus seems to be stunned by this behavior; she stands up with her bible held closely to her chest and calls to the drunken guy telling him that he is going to hell. The man surprised by the woman words hurriedly stands up and attempts to leave as he laments how is on the wrong bus.
Another joke involves a couple who return home after having fun with their friends at a bar. The husband pulls out the keys to open the front door as the wife who is rather irritated by the cold waits nearby. The husband struggles with the door for some time but it does not open, the wife who has become impatient opts to open the door herself, she snatched the key and notices that they are the car keys. The husband sheepishly laughs off the incident commenting on how he almost started their house.
When wise people approach you to alert you of the dangers of alcohol and how it has led to destruction of thousands of families, look them straight in the eye and tell them that water has killed more people by far. Cement your argument by pointing back at the flood when Noah built the ark.
Some jokes about alcohol are Irish as well, probably because of their love for beer. For instance, an old mean lady once gave an Irish plumber a job to fix her leaking sink. After successfully completing the job the plumber demanded payment. The lady looked for any cash around the house but failed to locate any so he asked him what other means of payment he wanted. The Irishman said he would take anything valuable.
The old lady looked around and saw a bag of potatoes that were lying around, she picked them up and handed them over to the man. The man put the basket down and murmured slowly how the potatoes were not compensation enough for his work. The lady insisted that the potatoes were the only costly thing she had, she joked on how the man could be faced with the predicament of cooking or leaving the potatoes to ferment so that he could drink. The man ended up taking the potatoes.
A man who was used to getting drunk on Saturday nights then shooting at people accompanied his family to the church one following Sunday. Delivering the sermon was reverend Mark who was known for condemning people for their wrong doings.
To conclude these few alcohol jokes, the reverend looked at the man and approached him while saying to him that nothing good would ever come of his behavior and that he should try to stop. The joke goes on to say that the man stood confidently and replied that at least the alcohol made him miss who he targeted which to him was a good thing.